One year

Lancy,

It’s now been a year since you had to leave us. I miss you. I’ll always miss you. How has it already been a year since we took our last walk together at the park? I felt so bad at the end because the meds were starting to take effect and you were getting wobbly as you walked and I had to take you back to the car. I’m thankful we had our time together. How many mornings did you wake me up early to go out? Lili started sleeping in a couple of years ago, but not you. You still had your face in mine early asking me to take you out. I miss our early mornings together. I miss having you curled up in bed by my feet. I miss giving you back rubs. And if I wasn’t taking you out early, we had many nights where you asked me to take you out around midnight. I’d take you over by the hotel so we could walk around the parking lot under lights. But I knew I’d always be safe with you near me.

Our last walk together.

It’s summertime so every time we have a storm, I think of you. I think of all the times you were so scared during a storm and how you hid under the table. It was a safe spot for you. Your mat is still in the dining room. I can’t bring myself to move it. It’s taken me some time to get around to doing some things. I know you never have to live in fear again.

I finally was able to get rid of your medications. I had them in a bag for almost a year, but I couldn’t let go of it. There was also some food I finally found a home for. I don’t know why I held onto it for so long. I know you won’t be coming back, but I don’t want to let go of you. I’m not letting go of you.

How has your year in doggy heaven been? Two doggy friends of mine went to dog heaven this week. Did you meet them? Did you show them around and tell them all the fun things they get to do?

Will you come visit me? I know I had the dream where you told me you couldn’t come back, but I would love to have a sign from you knowing you are ok. I have to admit I’m a bit jealous of people who say they get signs from their pets and I haven’t received anything. Why do they get a sign and I don’t? Please tell me you are doing ok.

Seven years wasn’t enough.

You have my heart and I have you

You have my heart and I have you

Forever, I’ll be true

You have my heart and I love you

I love you,

Woman